Sunday, January 31, 2010

A MATTER OF FAITH


There were lot of discussions going around about the “Da Vinci Code”. What I fail to understand is why many Christians are agitated about the ill-effect of this book on the faith. I read the book and enjoyed it as a thriller. But it never affected my faith or belief. If the books you read are going to affect your belief or faith then you cannot read anything contrary to your faith. In this situation how would you know the others view point whether you accept it or not? If your faith can be shaken by a work of fiction then I think you have no faith at all. What can be objected to is the denigration of Jesus; but here again, a work of fiction cannot actually denigrate since it is only fiction . Any way what we mortals can do to help Him who won over even death? I think He does not need our help to protect His name. If he cannot protect Himself why we are trusting Him to protect us? The catholic church has reasons for reacting strongly since one of its organizations is the villain of the piece.
The whole discussion made me think. What is faith and how you can lose your faith?
A few years ago a chain of events took place in my life. I attended the Good Friday service and on returning found the wind shield of my new car broken due to no apparent reason. Then I was so sick that I spent the whole night in the toilet. The next day we decided to attend the late night easter service at the balagram and drove down there. On the way I grazed along a motor cycle with a family. They escaped unhurt but my car was badly dented. It was not really my fault; but then I was the victim. But the climax was yet to come. On Easter Sunday evening I left for a business trip to Pune. During the meeting with the client the next day in the afternoon I found that I cannot pass urine; I was in agony. I had no earlier complaint of prostrate problem but I knew that I am in trouble. I was immediately rushed to the hospital where the sonography revealed that I have an enlarged prostrate which needs an immediate surgery. Here I was at a distant place requiring an emergency surgery with not many known people except my niece and an ex colleague. That night in the hospital with a urine bag was a testing time for me. Why am I, who is basically a good believer being made to go through such troubles whereas others who live their lives as they want have a good time and enjoy life? That night I had really no answer. I felt let down and felt like rebelling and did not even say a word of prayer before dozing off.
I had been through much bigger tests of faith and had come through; but the present experience seemed to be the last straw.
I had heard night mare stories about the prostrate surgeries going bad with people having to live with urine bag their whole life. I was sacred; but I could not pray to God to help me. It was the first time in my life that such a thing happened to me. Any way the surgery was done; there was no malignancy and the surgery was successful. But I never uttered a word of thanks. Was my mind numb or was there a nugget of belief that everything will turn out fine?
It was then I learnt once again the mysterious ways of God. I am sure He must have been thinking…. What a stupid guy is this? I sent him small tests and he rebels. He does not realize what he has escaped from. The bike riders could have been injured or even died…the prostrate problem could have cropped up when he was on a trip to say Hirakud where the medical facilities are minimal…. The surgery could have gone bad… and lastly the prostrate could have been malignant.

Friday, January 22, 2010

places i have been to