GARBAGE DISPOSAL - COCHIN STYLE

I recently moved to Cochin, in God’s Own Country. After having lived in Hyderabad for over 3 decades I hoped that this move should be an enjoyable one. It is so except for the garbage disposal. I never realised it is going to be such a nerve breaking problem. We have an arrangement with a Kudumbasree group( a women’s group which collects the garbage from home and converts it to vermicompost) to collect the garbage from home. For a few days now this arrangement is not functional. So I had to resort to the ways a harassed Cochinite deals with his garbage problem.

“Shoot and Scoot” (like the bofors guns)method. Drive around in your car with the garbage in a plastic bag; look out for a place where nobody is around (which is very rare in Cochin) and throw the bag out of the window. It is more easier if somebody is with you to throw the garbage bag since in this case you donot have stop the car. The disadvantage of this method is the cost of petrol and the smell, which remains in the car. Also the danger of alert local people catching hold of you and dumping all the garbage around in your car exists.

“The Brahmos” ( remember India's supersonic cruise missile !!!!) is an option for people who are averse to transporting the garbage in the car. In this method, you wait till late in the night and throw the garbage bag with a low trajectory from your compound. The disadvantage of this method is that the payload viz. the size of the garbage bag has to be small to get a longer range so that the garbage does not land close to your home.

My favorite option is the “PSLV” (remember India's polar satellite launch vehicle !!!)method. Here you throw up the garbage bag a few degrees off the vertical. Depending on the height you are able to reach, the garbage bag lands further away from home. Here again the payload problem exists and how well the garbage bag is tied up counts. Also the wind is a very important factor. If you do not take care of these, you could land up with the garbage strewn around in your compound itself.

I invite you to propose more exotic methods mainly for flat dwellers.

I am also planning a garbage throwing competition provided I am able to get a sponsor… I am scouting for one… Any takers???